Empowering Your Path: 10 Vital Reminders on the Road to Eating Disorder Recovery

Empowering Your Path: 10 Vital Reminders on the Road to Eating Disorder Recovery

Eating disorder recovery is a journey that encompasses physical and emotional healing. Each meal becomes a crucial step on the path to reclaiming your strength and nurturing self-love.

As you navigate this transformative journey, carry with you these 10 gentle reminders:

1. You Deserve Nourishment:

You deserve to honor the nourishment your body craves. All bodies, no matter their weight, shape, or size, deserve proper nourishment. There’s no need to postpone providing your body with what it needs. Don’t allow your eating disorder or societal pressures to persuade you otherwise. Embrace this essential truth!

2. Listen to Your Body:

Trust your body’s signals. It knows when it’s hungry, full, and what it craves. Tune in and honor these cues.

3. Release Judgement:

Food is not a moral compass. There are no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ foods. Embrace variety and allow yourself to savor the flavors of life. Food is meant to serve two purposes: nourishment and enjoyment. That’s it. You are not “bad” because you had a dessert.

4. Progress, Not Perfection:

Recovery isn’t linear. There will be ups and downs, and that’s okay. Celebrate your victories, no matter how small.

5. Challenge Negative Thoughts:

Replace self-criticism with self-compassion. Remind yourself of your worthiness and the progress you’ve achieved.

6. Practice Mindful Eating:

Engage all your senses during meals. Appreciate the textures, flavors, and aromas. This deepens your connection to the nourishment you’re providing.

7. Set Realistic Goals:

Break down your recovery into manageable steps. Each day is a new opportunity to progress.

8. Patience is Key:

Recovery takes time. Be kind and patient with yourself. You are worth the effort.

9. Celebrate Non-Food Related Achievements:

Acknowledge and applaud your accomplishments outside of your relationship with food. Remember, you are a multi-faceted individual with talents, dreams, and unique qualities that extend far beyond your dietary choices. Celebrate your achievements in all aspects of your life. You are more than what you eat; you are a person of remarkable depth and potential.

10. Remember, You Are Enough:

Regardless of what you eat or how you look, you are inherently valuable, just as you are.

Remember, this journey to recovery from your eating disorder is about reclaiming your life, your joy, your relationship with your body and food, and your sense of self. You are not defined by your struggles. 

 

Can Your Doctor’s Office Trigger Bad Body Image?

Can Your Doctor’s Office Trigger Bad Body Image?

Can Your Doctor’s Office Trigger Bad Body Image?

Sometimes I get tired of all the subtle ways women are told they’re not good enough. I’ve gotten used to it happening in magazines, commercials, and in all the ads that tell us how to look younger, prettier, sexier, and skinnier. So I expect to see those messages in certain settings, which I can mostly avoid.
I just never expected to see that in my OB-GYN’s office.
Today when I walked in, (after a nice long Covid hiatus of which length we won’t mention) I was greeted with not one, but two full-sized standing banners advertising liposuction and laser therapy. Literally flanking the front of the check-in counter, with a whole table of anti-aging skin products laid out in between. With “You deserve to feel like yourself again!” slogans next to life-size pictures of smiling, women without wrinkles or cellulite anywhere. So, as I walked up to check in for my appointment (where I planned to discuss the various fun things one might discuss when she’s 48 and has had 3 kids, etc etc) I had to reach across all of this in order to check in with the receptionist! Even in the bathroom, there were more ads up with before and after pictures advertising wrinkle removal- right up next to that cute little silver cupboard where you deposit your urine sample. These were also spread out in my patient room. Really?!
I guess things had changed in the practice during those years when I was away.
One might say that I’m just a cranky middle-aged woman that’s having a hard time getting older and is taking this too personally. That’s actually not the case at all. My 40’s have been a pretty incredible decade of learning to love myself with all of my imperfections, and I feel more beautiful now than I did back in my 20’s- even with all my gray hairs and wrinkles. I also have nothing against the beauty product or cosmetic surgery industries, as they can be sources of wonderful help and healing for people of all genders. I just think there’s a time and a place for this kind of advertising, and it’s not the kind of thing I’d expect or want to see at my OB’s or any other of my doctors at any age.
– not when I went in expecting to hear my first baby’s heartbeat and heard… nothing
– not when I went in for a post-D&C appointment after my miscarriage
– not when I was pregnant with my firstborn.
– not when I had my first breast exam after a lumpectomy
Not for a whole host of other reasons that so many women have to navigate and work through when they come in for their OB appointments for less than happy reasons.
For those of you still reading, thanks for staying with me through this rant.
And if you just so happen to have the name of a great OB practice in NOVA, go ahead and pass that my way.

Shannon Wise

When I read my friend Shannon’s post, I knew I needed to address this with the community. There’s just so much to unpack here.

In my years of seeing and treating hundreds of teens and adults struggling with eating disorders, poor body image, and shame, after a while, I begin to see a few trends along the way.

In no particular order, below are the triggers that are typically expressed by clients that have led to their eating disorders
1. Bullying
2. Severe dieting
3. Caregivers that diet, hyper-focus on eating overly healthy, and being thin.
4. Comments made by pediatricians and other physicians
5. Advertising and Social Media
6. Depression and Anxiety

Yes, you read that right, comments made by doctors. For a field that’s supposed to “first do no harm”, why is it that we’re seeing them on this list? Physicians ONLY need to take 1-1.5 credits focused on eating disorders during their studies. While it’s great that they can identify and diagnose an eating disorder, shouldn’t prevention and treatment be some of the focus? So often doctors suggest weight loss programs, tell patients they are overweight, that the cause of their illness is weight related, and praise them when they come back in a smaller body. This praise and the need to lose weight to be taken seriously can ultimately lead to one of the deadliest mental health disorders facing people. So when and how do we start expecting more from our providers? When do we start to hold them accountable and open their eyes to the microaggressions found in their offices? When will fat phobia and bias be left at the door and physicians start treating the person as a whole? Because right now, just telling people to lose weight isn’t helpful, it’s harmful.

About a year ago, one of my employees went to a gastroenterologist due to ongoing stomach pain, cramping, and heartburn. After coming out of anesthesia due to getting an endoscopy, the doctor’s only suggestion was……………you guessed it weight loss. This normally happy woman left the office that day and relayed the story to us in tears and looking defeated. She felt ashamed, embarrassed, and self-conscious, and still had no answers as to how to fix this problem.

Now I have lost count of how many of my clients have described when they first started to have eating disordered thoughts, that one of the causes of them was the way their pediatrician commented on their body size, and each time these clients quoted their doctors told them “you’re overweight”. If a patient continues to hear that from someone who they believe to be an expert in health, it’s not too hard to expect the patient will begin to think of themselves in a negative light. “I’m not good enough”, “Something’s wrong with me”, “I’m clearly doing something bad and wrong”. This narrative needs to change, help not hinder.

So lo and behold – I went to my OBGYN for my yearly appointments last week and opening the entrance to the waiting room my stomach dropped to my ankles. I was flooded by the images that Shannon described. Ads to look better by getting liposuction and more.

As I teach my clients how to advocate for their needs and rights, how to see themselves with neutrality and with loving kindness, and to reject the need to conform to the  – I must do so myself and I hope you do too.  The doctor at my practice helped deliver my baby 16 years ago. She is a wonderful doctor. But I can NEVER refer to this practice to any of my clients or any person for that matter.

Have you had similar experiences? Did this affect your body image?

I know I am going to hear from my colleagues that I shouldn’t post these pictures,  as they are triggering. Yes. I know.  Exactly.

None of us are spared from this reality and it is everywhere we go.

Will you join me in allowing yourself to take up space in this world and use your voice?

Heather Baker, LCSW, CEDS
Founder of Prosperity Eating Disorders and Wellness
www.prosperityedwell.com

Finding Beauty in Our Imperfections

Releasing Perfection for a Better Life Through the Ancient Japanese Philosophy of Wabi-Sabi

In our world, we live fast-paced, sometimes highly stressful lives. Judgment and the desire of meeting society’s standard of perfection is something many of us may struggle with. Living by the teachings of the ancient Japanese philosophy of Wabi-Sabi can change our perspective on life, helping us find the beauty and appreciation in imperfection.

“Even when petals have flaws, all you see is a beautiful flower.” -Adrianne Elizabeth

Wabi-Sabi is an elegant philosophy that promotes a more connected way of living. Living a lifestyle the Wabi-Sabi way, one is more connected to nature, and thus, better connected to our truest inner-selves. Wabi-Sabi allows us to search for the beauty in imperfection by accepting what is flawed, impermanent, and incomplete. Perfection is unattainable by accepting this philosophy into our lives. Impermanence becomes the elusive beauty of life.

What is Wabi?

The term, Wabi, refers to living in tune with nature, paring down to the essentials, so that each object and moment are appreciated in it’s fullness. Open your heart, appreciate simplicity, detach from materialism, and you will experience spiritual richness.

What is Sabi?

The term, Sabi, refers to the concern of the passage of time. The passage of growth, age, and decay manifests itself into the beauty of an object. Beauty lies from beneath the surfaces, underneath the cracks, imperfections, and wrinkles.

Together, Wabi-Sabi promotes the thought of, “Accept what is, stay in the present moment, and appreciate the simple impermanent stages of life.”

Freedom is found through acceptance of what is. Surrender to the gravity of the situation, giving gratitude to all that is. Nature is always changing, therefore it is not perfect, and nothing can be absolutely complete. Perfection is a state of completeness. So, why do we put our body through such shame in attempting to sculpt it to perfection, not eating enough, over exercising, or disregarding the importance of nourishment? The attempt to achieve a perfect body is just one blurring out the understanding of what perfection truly is. The desire of looking younger is very popular as well with the usage of many different anti-aging products. What’s forgotten about is ageing with the passage of time is beauty itself. With imperfection, we should not compromise it, we need to accept the imperfections because that is the true nature of life. Just as nature is, life is fragile and temporary, so allow yourself to accept what is and find the love in the imperfections.

In Japan, broken objects are repaired with gold. The flaw is seen as a unique piece of the object’s history, which adds to its beauty. When you are feeling broken, remember this. 

“Put simply, Wabi-Sabi gives you permission to be yourself. It encourages you to do your best but not make yourself ill in pursuit of an unattainable goal of perfection. It gently motions you to relax, slow down and enjoy your life. And it shows you that beauty can be found in the most unlikely of places, making every day a doorway to delight.” -Beth Kempton

Resources: 

Itani, O. (2021, April 24). 5 teachings from the Japanese wabi-sabi philosophy that can drastically improve your life. OMAR ITANI. Retrieved October 19, 2021, from https://www.omaritani.com/blog/wabi-sabi-philosophy-teachings.

Jobson, C. (2017, October 19). Kintsugi: The art of broken pieces. Colossal. Retrieved October 19, 2021, from https://www.thisiscolossal.com/2014/05/kintsugi-the-art-of-broken-pieces/.

Shaireproductions.com. (2012, September 27). Imperfect flower. Flickr. Retrieved October 19, 2021, from https://www.flickr.com/photos/shaireproductions/8030295044.

Walther, A. (2021, January 14). What is Wabi Sabi? the elusive beauty of imperfection. Japan Objects. Retrieved October 19, 2021, from https://japanobjects.com/features/wabi-sabi.

5 Effective Coping Skills for Recovery

5 Effective Coping Skills for Recovery

fortune teller

5 Effective Coping Skills to Assist Your Journey to Recovery

Recovery is a journey. Recovery takes time. Recovery is your journey that you live and control day to day. Throughout this time, life stressors that you may not be able to control come into play and you may feel as if they are acting as a halt in the direction you were headed throughout your recovery journey. Life stressors may include starting back up at school, starting a new job or leaving a current one, an increase in financial obligations, taking care of an elderly family member, moving to a new home, worrying about a touchy conversation you need to have with someone, or even relationship stress. Facing this stress, it feels quite easy to rely on disordered coping skills. However, these disordered coping skills can mentally and physically play a negative impact on recovery. With an eating disorder and partaking in disordered coping skills, one’s eating disorder symptoms could heighten. Practicing healthy coping skills with your eating disorder will aid to the longevity of your wellness and nourishment journey. 

 

Here are 5 effective and healthy coping skills to handle those stressful bumps in the road that life may present in your path while you are on the road to your recovery:

 

  1. Did someone say Self-Care? Make yourself your own priority! Wash your face, brush out your hair, put on a face mask, and hop in that bath tub! Light your favorite candle. Enjoy Mother-Earth and the sunshine she has to offer by taking a walk outside and enjoying some fresh air. Listen to the soothing sound of the rain hitting your windows and meditate for 10 minutes. Get cozy and read a new book. Tidy up your living space, rearrange your closet or organize your dresser. Cook yourself one of your favorite meals or bring out your favorite family relative’s cookie recipe! Allow yourself 7-8 hours of sleep, being well-rested will aid in avoiding triggers.

2. Start a new hobby or activity, or return to one you truly enjoyed in the past. Run to Michael’s, grab a canvas and paint something beautiful, get creative! Start a new DIY project for something that would look great in your home, or something you can give to someone as a gift! Inquire through social media or online for a local book club if you enjoy a great read with people that share the same passion as you. Gather friends and family for a once-a-week game night, such as bowling, roller skating. You could even form a kickball team! Find your passion!

3. Journal it out! Keep a journal handy to write about your day. Write about your daily thoughts, emotions, something encouraging someone said to you that day, three things that you are thankful for.

 4. Recognize the way that you speak to yourself. Whether it be about your body, the food that you eat, or your actions. Write down the negative thought, and for every negative thought, on a separate piece of paper (let’s say a sticky-note) write down three positive thoughts about yourself. Now, throw away that negative thought and remove it from your mind-space as it falls into the trash, crumbled up and left behind. Take that sticky note with your three positive thoughts about yourself and place that on your mirror. Leave it there! Look at yourself in the mirror and read these positive thoughts out loud. Remind yourself how awesome you are. Speak these thoughts into existence to yourself and they will become a part of you! Self doubt and self blame will not cure your eating disorder. Uplift yourself. 

5. Reach out and lean on the community you have built around yourself of friends, family, loved ones, and others going through their own road to recovery. Associate yourself with those that you can trust. These people can help carry you throughout your journey when times don’t feel as easy or fair as they should to you. Allow them and involve them in your healthy coping mechanisms. You will be able to rely on these people when you allow them in, giving them your trust and them giving you theirs!

 

 

Sources:

3 tips for coping with triggers in Eating disorder recovery. National Eating Disorders Association. (2018, February 21). https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/blog/3-tips-coping-triggers-eating-disorder-recovery. 

About eating disorders. Eating Disorder Foundation.org. (n.d.). https://eatingdisorderfoundation.org/learn-more/about-eating-disorders/coping/. 

To cope with stress, Try Learning Something new. Harvard Business Review. (2019, November 26). https://hbr.org/2018/09/to-cope-with-stress-try-learning-something-new. 

 

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