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Can Your Doctor’s Office Trigger Bad Body Image?

Can Your Doctor’s Office Trigger Bad Body Image?

Can Your Doctor’s Office Trigger Bad Body Image?

Sometimes I get tired of all the subtle ways women are told they’re not good enough. I’ve gotten used to it happening in magazines, commercials, and in all the ads that tell us how to look younger, prettier, sexier, and skinnier. So I expect to see those messages in certain settings, which I can mostly avoid.
I just never expected to see that in my OB-GYN’s office.
Today when I walked in, (after a nice long Covid hiatus of which length we won’t mention) I was greeted with not one, but two full-sized standing banners advertising liposuction and laser therapy. Literally flanking the front of the check-in counter, with a whole table of anti-aging skin products laid out in between. With “You deserve to feel like yourself again!” slogans next to life-size pictures of smiling, women without wrinkles or cellulite anywhere. So, as I walked up to check in for my appointment (where I planned to discuss the various fun things one might discuss when she’s 48 and has had 3 kids, etc etc) I had to reach across all of this in order to check in with the receptionist! Even in the bathroom, there were more ads up with before and after pictures advertising wrinkle removal- right up next to that cute little silver cupboard where you deposit your urine sample. These were also spread out in my patient room. Really?!
I guess things had changed in the practice during those years when I was away.
One might say that I’m just a cranky middle-aged woman that’s having a hard time getting older and is taking this too personally. That’s actually not the case at all. My 40’s have been a pretty incredible decade of learning to love myself with all of my imperfections, and I feel more beautiful now than I did back in my 20’s- even with all my gray hairs and wrinkles. I also have nothing against the beauty product or cosmetic surgery industries, as they can be sources of wonderful help and healing for people of all genders. I just think there’s a time and a place for this kind of advertising, and it’s not the kind of thing I’d expect or want to see at my OB’s or any other of my doctors at any age.
– not when I went in expecting to hear my first baby’s heartbeat and heard… nothing
– not when I went in for a post-D&C appointment after my miscarriage
– not when I was pregnant with my firstborn.
– not when I had my first breast exam after a lumpectomy
Not for a whole host of other reasons that so many women have to navigate and work through when they come in for their OB appointments for less than happy reasons.
For those of you still reading, thanks for staying with me through this rant.
And if you just so happen to have the name of a great OB practice in NOVA, go ahead and pass that my way.

Shannon Wise

When I read my friend Shannon’s post, I knew I needed to address this with the community. There’s just so much to unpack here.

In my years of seeing and treating hundreds of teens and adults struggling with eating disorders, poor body image, and shame, after a while, I begin to see a few trends along the way.

In no particular order, below are the triggers that are typically expressed by clients that have led to their eating disorders
1. Bullying
2. Severe dieting
3. Caregivers that diet, hyper-focus on eating overly healthy, and being thin.
4. Comments made by pediatricians and other physicians
5. Advertising and Social Media
6. Depression and Anxiety

Yes, you read that right, comments made by doctors. For a field that’s supposed to “first do no harm”, why is it that we’re seeing them on this list? Physicians ONLY need to take 1-1.5 credits focused on eating disorders during their studies. While it’s great that they can identify and diagnose an eating disorder, shouldn’t prevention and treatment be some of the focus? So often doctors suggest weight loss programs, tell patients they are overweight, that the cause of their illness is weight related, and praise them when they come back in a smaller body. This praise and the need to lose weight to be taken seriously can ultimately lead to one of the deadliest mental health disorders facing people. So when and how do we start expecting more from our providers? When do we start to hold them accountable and open their eyes to the microaggressions found in their offices? When will fat phobia and bias be left at the door and physicians start treating the person as a whole? Because right now, just telling people to lose weight isn’t helpful, it’s harmful.

About a year ago, one of my employees went to a gastroenterologist due to ongoing stomach pain, cramping, and heartburn. After coming out of anesthesia due to getting an endoscopy, the doctor’s only suggestion was……………you guessed it weight loss. This normally happy woman left the office that day and relayed the story to us in tears and looking defeated. She felt ashamed, embarrassed, and self-conscious, and still had no answers as to how to fix this problem.

Now I have lost count of how many of my clients have described when they first started to have eating disordered thoughts, that one of the causes of them was the way their pediatrician commented on their body size, and each time these clients quoted their doctors told them “you’re overweight”. If a patient continues to hear that from someone who they believe to be an expert in health, it’s not too hard to expect the patient will begin to think of themselves in a negative light. “I’m not good enough”, “Something’s wrong with me”, “I’m clearly doing something bad and wrong”. This narrative needs to change, help not hinder.

So lo and behold – I went to my OBGYN for my yearly appointments last week and opening the entrance to the waiting room my stomach dropped to my ankles. I was flooded by the images that Shannon described. Ads to look better by getting liposuction and more.

As I teach my clients how to advocate for their needs and rights, how to see themselves with neutrality and with loving kindness, and to reject the need to conform to the  – I must do so myself and I hope you do too.  The doctor at my practice helped deliver my baby 16 years ago. She is a wonderful doctor. But I can NEVER refer to this practice to any of my clients or any person for that matter.

Have you had similar experiences? Did this affect your body image?

I know I am going to hear from my colleagues that I shouldn’t post these pictures,  as they are triggering. Yes. I know.  Exactly.

None of us are spared from this reality and it is everywhere we go.

Will you join me in allowing yourself to take up space in this world and use your voice?

Heather Baker, LCSW, CEDS
Founder of Prosperity Eating Disorders and Wellness
www.prosperityedwell.com

5 Effective Coping Skills for Recovery

5 Effective Coping Skills for Recovery

fortune teller

5 Effective Coping Skills to Assist Your Journey to Recovery

Recovery is a journey. Recovery takes time. Recovery is your journey that you live and control day to day. Throughout this time, life stressors that you may not be able to control come into play and you may feel as if they are acting as a halt in the direction you were headed throughout your recovery journey. Life stressors may include starting back up at school, starting a new job or leaving a current one, an increase in financial obligations, taking care of an elderly family member, moving to a new home, worrying about a touchy conversation you need to have with someone, or even relationship stress. Facing this stress, it feels quite easy to rely on disordered coping skills. However, these disordered coping skills can mentally and physically play a negative impact on recovery. With an eating disorder and partaking in disordered coping skills, one’s eating disorder symptoms could heighten. Practicing healthy coping skills with your eating disorder will aid to the longevity of your wellness and nourishment journey. 

 

Here are 5 effective and healthy coping skills to handle those stressful bumps in the road that life may present in your path while you are on the road to your recovery:

 

  1. Did someone say Self-Care? Make yourself your own priority! Wash your face, brush out your hair, put on a face mask, and hop in that bath tub! Light your favorite candle. Enjoy Mother-Earth and the sunshine she has to offer by taking a walk outside and enjoying some fresh air. Listen to the soothing sound of the rain hitting your windows and meditate for 10 minutes. Get cozy and read a new book. Tidy up your living space, rearrange your closet or organize your dresser. Cook yourself one of your favorite meals or bring out your favorite family relative’s cookie recipe! Allow yourself 7-8 hours of sleep, being well-rested will aid in avoiding triggers.

2. Start a new hobby or activity, or return to one you truly enjoyed in the past. Run to Michael’s, grab a canvas and paint something beautiful, get creative! Start a new DIY project for something that would look great in your home, or something you can give to someone as a gift! Inquire through social media or online for a local book club if you enjoy a great read with people that share the same passion as you. Gather friends and family for a once-a-week game night, such as bowling, roller skating. You could even form a kickball team! Find your passion!

3. Journal it out! Keep a journal handy to write about your day. Write about your daily thoughts, emotions, something encouraging someone said to you that day, three things that you are thankful for.

 4. Recognize the way that you speak to yourself. Whether it be about your body, the food that you eat, or your actions. Write down the negative thought, and for every negative thought, on a separate piece of paper (let’s say a sticky-note) write down three positive thoughts about yourself. Now, throw away that negative thought and remove it from your mind-space as it falls into the trash, crumbled up and left behind. Take that sticky note with your three positive thoughts about yourself and place that on your mirror. Leave it there! Look at yourself in the mirror and read these positive thoughts out loud. Remind yourself how awesome you are. Speak these thoughts into existence to yourself and they will become a part of you! Self doubt and self blame will not cure your eating disorder. Uplift yourself. 

5. Reach out and lean on the community you have built around yourself of friends, family, loved ones, and others going through their own road to recovery. Associate yourself with those that you can trust. These people can help carry you throughout your journey when times don’t feel as easy or fair as they should to you. Allow them and involve them in your healthy coping mechanisms. You will be able to rely on these people when you allow them in, giving them your trust and them giving you theirs!

 

 

Sources:

3 tips for coping with triggers in Eating disorder recovery. National Eating Disorders Association. (2018, February 21). https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/blog/3-tips-coping-triggers-eating-disorder-recovery. 

About eating disorders. Eating Disorder Foundation.org. (n.d.). https://eatingdisorderfoundation.org/learn-more/about-eating-disorders/coping/. 

To cope with stress, Try Learning Something new. Harvard Business Review. (2019, November 26). https://hbr.org/2018/09/to-cope-with-stress-try-learning-something-new. 

 

Weight Stigma

Weight Stigma

Weight stigma is any bias, discrimination or stereotyping related to an individual’s weight. It supports the misconception between worth, value, and competence in regards to weight. Research has idealized weight loss and living a ‘healthier’ lifestyle due to the promise of improved overall wellbeing. However, is that really the case? Continuous societal pressure to change and reform the body, in order to fit the standards of research, can cause behavioral changes that have been linked to poor metabolic health and increased weight gain. Weight stigma can be especially harmful when exposed to children at a young age. Children who are perceived to be overweight by loved ones are two times more likely to form irregular and poor relationships with food and self-regard. As these relationships continue to develop, they can become a part of a child’s identity and the cycle of dieting continues. These influences can begin with as little as a comment from a stranger on food choices, or weigh-ins in public schools. It is our responsibility as a member of the community to prevent these influences from causing further consequences. 

While it can be hard to take weight loss out of the picture completely, it does allow the potential for a life of freedom. This does not mean ignoring your body completely, but rather learning to respect and appreciate your present self. Accepting your body entails taking care of your health, both physical and mental. This is a crucial part of making peace with your body, and is the stepping stone for making peace with food, thus supporting one to become an intuitive eater. 

Those who experience weight stigma have been shown to be at an increased likelihood of developing psychological and behavioral issues. Some of which includes depression, body dissatisfaction, and binge eating. This is exacerbated by a culture that idealizes thinness and inundates the public with fatphobic messages. When these fatphobic messages are internalized, individuals can experience self-stigma. Self-stigma has been found to have a strong effect on overall mental health due to the acceptance of weight stigmatized statements as being true for themselves, making it increasingly difficult to challenge these messages.

Unfortunately, healthcare professionals are often guilty of perpetuating weight stigma in their practices. Thus many individuals in larger bodies who choose to seek care often find themselves being treated differently due to their body size. It is important that, as providers, we continue to explore our role in ending weight stigma and work to provide compassionate, unbiased, weight-inclusive care.

We each come in our own shape and size, similar to the unique ridges and whorls that make up our fingerprints. We wouldn’t expect someone who is 5’10 to someday be 5’5. Therefore, why do we assume we must shrink or shape our body to be a size that it shouldn’t be? Spending your life trying to control your weight is essentially a constant attempt to be someone else. We must be kind and accepting of ourselves and who we are meant to be. It can be a slow process to accept a body that has been labeled as ‘not good enough’ but quitting won’t speed it up. 

References:

Emmer, C., Bosnjak, M., & Mata, J. (2019). The association between weight stigma and mental health: A meta‐analysis. Obesity Reviews, 21(1). doi:10.1111/obr.12935

Puhl, R. M., & Heuer, C. A. (2010). Obesity stigma: important considerations for public health. American journal of public health, 100(6), 1019–1028. https://doi.org/10.2105/AJPH.2009.159491

Weight Stigma. (2019, June 27). Retrieved September 23, 2020, from https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/weight-stigma

United We Stand

United We Stand

Prosperity always offers individualized services that are gender, race, sexuality, religion, age, eating disorder, and body size inclusive.

A personal message from one of our staff:

A deadly pathogen is running rampant through the world, undetectable and unstoppable, middle class families are waiting in mile long lines at food banks, and those who were already a paycheck away from disaster are now homeless. The political divide is deeper than ever, no longer about differences in policy, it is now an appraisal of morality. Wearing a mask has become a partisan statement, with both sides shaming and accusing each other of ignorance.

The murders of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor and George Floyd in close succession have shocked those who had come to accept racial bias as an unpleasant truth to be denounced, yet tolerated. The long simmering resentment of African Americans has passed the boiling point, and we are witnessing a revolt against a society that has oppressed and stigmatized their race for centuries, the type of which has not been seen since Dr Martin Luther King lit a fire for equality more than 50 years ago.

Then there are those who used to lurk in the shadows and hide under hoods, who have become emboldened to voice their hatred and hostility towards people of color over the last three years. For them, the stakes are now higher than ever; they are desperate to cling to their vision of a whiter America peering over the horizon.

All are clamoring to be heard, and the resulting cacophony of rage threatens to dissolve America. To say these are frightening times would be a ludicrous understatement. Growing up, political discourse was something I rarely witnessed. I was raised in a religion that preached neutrality, and it was considered futile to attempt to influence societal issues that could only be solved by a higher power. An independent streak and a passion against injustice brought me into frequent conflict with my family and religious leaders, but I struggled to reconcile those principles with my conscience. I saw neutrality as pacifism, and pacifism was complicity.

In 1992, as the Rodney King riots shook Los Angeles, I graduated from high school. I remember watching the riots on television and not really grasping what they were about. It was undeniable that the police had brutally and unnecessarily beaten a man, but I failed to recognize that the rage over that was fueled by a systemic problem. I lived in an all white community in the mid-west, and while I was aware racism was still prevalent, I rarely witnessed it and certainly had no concept of how it permeated the everyday existence of people of color.

I was raised to accept people of all races and nationalities, and have never felt hatred for another race, yet still, unconscious racial and class bias was cultivated in me. My relationships were filtered through the lens of how much their lives mirrored mine. I felt compassion for the less fortunate, yet my efforts to help them revolved around making them more like me. I subconsciously divided the “good blacks” from “bad blacks”- usually based only on their speech and style of clothing. I held strong opinions on homosexuality and abortion, and consideration of other viewpoints or contemplating different reasoning was not allowed by my religion. Effort was made to reduce exposure to outside influences that might contradict those beliefs, so education beyond high school was strongly discouraged. My mind remained closed because my world was.

A complicated series of events, too lengthy to detail here, slowly unraveled my faith, and I eventually discarded my religious beliefs. The consequences of that decision were personally devastating, causing me to spiral into a deep and unrelenting depression, and I sought counseling as a means to cope with my grief, disillusionment and fear. However, with the loss of what was familiar and comfortable came the gift of freedom of thought, and I embraced the opportunity to re-learn what I believed. I sought to educate myself on issues that I had been ignorant of, I listened to others’ opinions with an open mind, and I worked to envision myself in the difficult situations that others faced, so that I could develop empathy. I became aware of the judgmental lens I had unconsciously filtered others through, and began to engage with those who I would have previously avoided. I saw beyond their clothes, mannerisms and diction to the person inside, and discovered that where once I saw vast differences, now I saw sameness.

There is a video currently circulating on social media that has sparked furious controversy. In it, a young, black woman named Candace Owens expresses her disgust for the seeming martyrdom of George Floyd, due to his violent criminal past. While she condemns the actions of the officers, some of what she said seems to enforce the entrenched belief that black men being shot in some way have it coming. I was infuriated by many of her comments, but I forced myself to listen to her, and to try to understand her point of view, some of which was not without merit. She emphasized that George Floyd had not lived an honorable life- he had hurt and traumatized individuals for life. She reasoned that the victims of his crimes surely are angered and hurt that he is suddenly being treated as a hero.

I considered at length how despite her facts being accurate, millions of people were not only angered by his death, but truly grieved, even driven to tears, as I was. Why are we mourning George Floyd? It is because when we watched him die, when we listened to him gasp for air, when he cried out for his mother- for those 8 minutes and 46 seconds, we didn’t see a black man, and we didn’t see a criminal- we saw a human. People worldwide had seen past their filter and saw their human brother suffering, and it hurt. For 8 minutes and 46 seconds, we were not white or black or or any race other than the human one. That brief glimpse was enough to shock many people awake, and opened their eyes to how fellow humans are being treated. The reality of what it means to be black in America has finally resonated and made us painfully aware and ashamed of our white privilege. It is apparent that this can no longer be treated as a “black problem”- it is a human problem.

These are unprecedented and turbulent times, but also, the beginning of a new era. Just as my life changed when my unconscious prejudices were torn away, the entire country is experiencing the same. It is not enough to just not be a racist- because silence is complicity. It is no longer enough to portion shares of equality to those we feel have earned it, it has to be granted upon birth. What we are witnessing is an entire nation recognizing and acknowledging their mistakes, and actively taking measures to change. Emotions are high, and conflicting, but we have the choice to continue stripping away our ignorance and educate ourselves, with an open mind, without bias. We can stop focusing on our differences and work to see sameness. We can look at the destruction of what was familiar and comfortable with fear, or we can see it as an opportunity to start over and to re-make our country into something better. Right now, we can choose to be scared, or we can choose to be strong.

I did not write the following, but it says what I am feeling in my heart: (see below)

“WHAT IF 2020 ISN’T CANCELLED?
WHAT IF 2020 IS THE YEAR WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR?
A YEAR SO UNCOMFORTABLE, SO PAINFUL, SO SCARY, SO RAW-THAT IT FINALLY FORCES US TO GROW.
A YEAR THAT SCREAMS SO LOUD, FINALLY AWAKENING US FROM OUR IGNORANT SLUMBER.
A YEAR WE FINALLY ACCEPT THE NEED FOR CHANGE.
DECLARE CHANGE. WORK FOR CHANGE. BECOME THE CHANGE.
A YEAR WE FINALLY BAND TOGETHER, INSTEAD OF PUSHING EACH OTHER FURTHER APART.
2020 ISN’T CANCELED, BUT RATHER THE MOST IMPORTANT YEAR OF THEM ALL.”
– leslie dwight

By Michelle Schwake

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