Navigating the Emotional Journey of Family Therapy in Eating Disorder Recovery

Navigating the Emotional Journey of Family Therapy in Eating Disorder Recovery

Written By: Adrianna Rodriquez, MS, MFT, CFBT

Family and Individual Therapist, Certified in Family Based Therapy

The complexities of family emotions often create a whirlwind of support and tension, with each interaction holding the potential for both comfort and conflict. In eating disorder recovery, this emotional landscape becomes even more intricate, affecting both the identified patient and their family members.

At Prosperity Eating Disorders and Wellness Center, we understand these challenges and explore them in depth during family therapy sessions. Below, we outline some of the most common emotions families experience and how recognizing them can foster growth and healing.

Helplessness

Many parents often feel powerless to change the situation, wishing they could “fix” their child’s struggles. Parents grapple with the desire to help while facing the limitations of their understanding and the complex nature of the illness itself. This sense of powerlessness can lead to frustration and sadness as they navigate the delicate balance between support and encouraging independence in their child’s healing journey.

Fear

Concerns about their child’s health and future can lead to overwhelming anxiety and fear about potential consequences. They worry about setbacks, the potential for relapse, and the long-term impact on their child’s physical and emotional health. They may also fear that their attempts to help could inadvertently push their child away or exacerbate the struggle, leaving them anxious about how to provide the right support.

Guilt

Parents may question their parenting choices and wonder if they contributed to the development of the eating disorder, leading to feelings of guilt and regret. They may question whether their actions, words, or even family dynamics contributed to the onset of the illness. This guilt can manifest as a sense of failure in their parenting.

Sadness

Watching a child suffer can lead to deep sadness and grief over the loss of the child’s well-being and happiness. Parents may mourn the loss of the carefree moments they once shared around food and in general, with their child.

Frustration

Repeated challenges, resistance to treatment, or setbacks can lead to feelings of anger, frustration, and impatience. Anger can arise towards the eating disorder itself, as well as towards circumstances or even the child for their behavior, though this can often be mixed with empathy.

Isolation

Many parents often feel alone in their struggle, unsure of how to find support or connect with others who understand their experience. Parents may feel disconnected from friends and family who may not understand the complexities of the situation and the stigma surrounding eating disorders.

Hope and Determination

Despite the challenges, many parents maintain a sense of hope for recovery and healing, often fueled by small progress or moments of connection. Many parents feel a strong resolve to advocate for their child, seeking out resources, support, and professional help to set up the environment for full recovery.

All these emotions are common and valid. At Prosperity, we help families process these feelings in a supportive environment, equipping them with the tools to navigate their child’s recovery journey. Together, we build stronger connections and foster a path to full recovery.

Contact us today to learn more about our family therapy programs and how we support families through the challenges of eating disorder recovery.

    Virginia’s Premier Day Treatment And Intensive Outpatient Treatment Centers

    Prosperity Eating Disorders & Wellness Center specializes in the treatment of eating disorders while offering evidence-based, comprehensive, ethical, and individualized treatment to all ages, ethnicities, genders, and eating disorders. Our goal is to help sufferers find a full recovery by meeting their psychological, nutritional, emotional, and relational needs. We specialize in treating Anorexia, Bulimia, EDNOS, Orthorexia, and Binge Eating Disorder. With locations in Herndon and Norfolk, Prosperity is equipped to serve the needs of adolescents and adults throughout Virginia. 

    Get started with Prosperity Eating Disorders & Wellness Center today!

    We offer in-person and virtual services. 

    Five Eating Disorder Truths and Tips for Parents

    Five Eating Disorder Truths and Tips for Parents

    Written By: Adrianna Rodriguez, MS, MFT, CFBT

    Coming to the realization that your child has an eating disorder can be overwhelming.

    It’s daunting and scary. Learning how to navigate the ups and downs of an eating disorder requires a great deal of self-awareness and patience. I have found that parents most certainly have the power to help their child begin to heal – even if the child isn’t fully ready.


    In family therapy, we explore not only the best ways to communicate with one another but also identify and practice the most effective ways to show up for and support your child.

    In this blog post, I will highlight the top five things to focus on as you walk alongside your loved one on the path to full recovery from their eating disorder.

    1. Recovery is Long and it is not a Linear Journey

    Recovery comes in waves like a roller coaster, involving progress and setbacks – both of which are normal. It’s important to set realistic expectations for what recovery will look like. Parents are eager to see their child return to being their true selves. It’s important not to rush the process to avoid relapse.

    2. Be Strong, Calm, and Consistent

    Most importantly, do not negotiate during meals. The eating disorder is masterful at manipulation, so it’s imperative that parents are on the same page and show up as a united front against it. Eating disorders thrive off heightened emotions and overreactions, so remaining calm is crucial. Maintaining a sense of calm during mealtimes will help your child have the confidence to recover. Additionally, being consistent with meal expectations can help alleviate anxiety and fear.

    3. Maintain Clear Mealtime Rules

    One way to minimize stress is to keep your child out of the kitchen when cooking and serving meals. This can alleviate anticipatory anxiety around the upcoming meal. Incorporating distractions at mealtimes, such as games or watching television, can diffuse tension and shift the focus away from the food. Encourage the completion of meals and avoid engaging in power struggles. By providing firm and loving support, you are sending the message that you will not let the eating disorder take hold and that recovery is the only option. A non-shaming approach can be much more effective than a shaming one, so encourage meal completion in a non-judgmental and tempered manner.

    4. Externalize the Disorder

    Externalization of the disorder is a critical tool that allows the parent to temper their anger and frustration towards their child. It involves separating the child from the chaos and ravages of the eating disorder. This is most helpful when the eating disorder is driving disruptive behaviors, anger, abuse, etc. It helps prevent getting pulled into power struggles and reminds parents that the behaviors stem from the disorder itself. Your child has not consciously chosen this; rather, they want and deserve help.

    5. Steer Clear of Blame, Guilt, and Shame

    Blaming yourself or your child does not serve either of you. It is common for both parents and children to experience guilt. One thing is certain: guilt reduces your self-efficacy as a parent and your ability to remain grounded. It also poses challenges to your ability to help your child overcome the eating disorder. Just as it is unhelpful to place blame or guilt on yourself, it is also important not to blame or guilt your child. Just like you would not blame your child if they developed diabetes or any other physical illness, the most important thing to do is to be involved in your child’s recovery and offer them compassion and unconditional love.

    Supporting your loved one with an eating disorder is a challenging task. At Prosperity Eating Disorders and Wellness Center, our team is committed to walking you through and providing you with all the tools you need to help your child successfully reach full recovery from their eating disorder!

    Virginia’s Premier Day Treatment And Intensive Outpatient Treatment Centers

    Prosperity Eating Disorders & Wellness Center specializes in the treatment of eating disorders while offering evidence-based, comprehensive, ethical, and individualized treatment to all ages, ethnicities, genders, and eating disorders. Our goal is to help sufferers find a full recovery by meeting their psychological, nutritional, emotional, and relational needs. We specialize in treating Anorexia, Bulimia, EDNOS, Orthorexia, and Binge Eating Disorder. With locations in Herndon and Norfolk, Prosperity is equipped to serve the needs of adolescents and adults throughout Virginia. 

    Get started with Prosperity Eating Disorders & Wellness Center today!

    Parents as Role Models Around Food and Body Image

    Parents as Role Models Around Food and Body Image

    1. Why is it important for parents to model healthy eating?

    Social psychologists have long explored how social experiences shape our cognitions and behavior. This type of learning, known as observational learning, provides children with the opportunity to watch a “model” (aka parent, sibling or authority figure) as they react to events in their environment. Observational learning is one of the most natural types of learning that we have available to us. The idea is we watch what the model does in a given scenario and then process that scenario or schema as desirable or undesirable; ultimately our behaviors are shaped by watching how others interact with their environment. We mimic and mirror what we see and have learned is valuable to our family system.

    Food is a fundamental aspect of the human experience, we all need nutrients to survive and thrive. Unfortunately in today’s society, we have become hyper aware of image and perfection as a symbol for worthiness, resulting fad diets, preoccupation with weight / image, and a generalized sense of dissatisfaction with ourselves in comparison to a perceived ideal. Despite the negative impacts societal pressures can have on an individual’s image or self-esteem, there are many ways parents can buffer the effects of these pressures, not the least of which is healthy modeling. What does this mean? In short it’s teaching your kids to develop a healthy relationship with food by setting a positive example.

    Our kids are watching us all the time (we aren’t as sneaky as we think we are), they see us reading labels and being conscious which is great! It’s a great opportunity for us to teach our children about food, nutrition, and healthy eating. Conversely, they see us cringing at calories, judging ourselves and our bodies in the mirror, and they sense the importance of image. We can be a gateway to a healthy lifestyle or we can inadvertently tell our kids that food is the enemy and image is everything. It’s easy to think this learning would have to be overt, that a dance teacher who pinches her students back would obviously result in an unhealthy relationship with food. But it can, and often does, happen far more subtlety, watching mom choose a salad time and again instead of getting what she really wants because she has attached a value to the food as bad. As with most things, moderation is key, it’s not so much what you are eating or feeding your family as it is the relationship with the food and experiences.

    1. What language should parents use/not use, around kids, to prevent unhealthy eating beliefs and behaviors?

    Try to avoid making comparisons or comments, especially image oriented ones. For example don’t say,”Oh, Molly is so small, and I am just fat” or “Your friend Jen is so small and cute” “Comparisons like this aren’t helpful in promoting a positive self-image.

    Kids going through growth spurts often grow out before they grow up. When your kids are in these spurts, don’t poke at them or their chubby cheeks. In general, try not to use all or nothing statements. That ice cream will make you fat, or those cookies are going to go straight to my hips. No one has ever died from a scoop of ice cream, just like if you eat a cookie or a few cookies, it doesn’t mean you are no longer loveable because your skinny jeans got a little snug. Kids don’t always have the gift of discernment, that’s another reason healthy modeling is so important. We get to teach them that food can be a wonderful and connecting experience. If you wouldn’t want someone saying it to you, then you probably shouldn’t say it to your child, they’re people too, just younger and more impressionable.

    1. How do our kids (unknowingly) teach us how to eat healthy?

    Our bodies have natural triggers that tell us when we are hungry and when we are full. People don’t have to be taught when to eat or not, it’s a natural process that occurs and that we can become mindful of as we develop. Children haven’t yet learned to ignore their inner cues and will often adhere to appropriate portions when they are allowed to choose. Kids listen to their bodies, if they have cravings they typically fulfill them and move on with what they are doing. They don’t assign value or judgement to foods which means they are naturally more healthy in regard to portion control and enjoying the eating experience.

    1. How can we achieve health while feeling care free in the process?

    Barring an allergy, one scoop, or cup, or plate of anything is not going to leave an indelible mark on our psyche or bodies. Remaining mindful as you eat and making food preparation a process and an act of love for yourselves and others can be a great way to bring joy and peace to a moment. If you struggle with your relationship with food, affirmations can be a great way to break the negative thought pattern. It may feel artificial at first, but keep saying the words, internalize that sense of peace with the food and the process of being healthy. Exercise can be a great way to mitigate depressive symptoms, as the endorphins released during and after a workout boost mood. Additionally, this can be a great way to channel your energy by doing something positive and active with your body, see what you are capable of, know that you are a blessing and that your body is a gift.

    By Ashley Steelman, MSW

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    Social Media: A Catalyst for Eating Disorder Recovery?


     
    We live in a media driven culture with an endless supply of TV shows, internet sites, and phone apps to keep us busy every minute. These platforms are used to deliver messages meant to persuade, inspire, and entertain. Many of these messages contain images of men and women airbrushed to perfection….and it is that very image of perfection that haunts us as we study our own bodies and make comparisons.
     
    To say that the internet has influenced body image is an understatement. In recent years, the rise of pro-anorexia and pro-bulimia websites has glorified eating disorders and praised the behaviors that keep sufferers locked in the illness. The Social Issues Research Centre (www.sirc.org) reports that these “pro-ana” websites target individuals who consider their eating disorders to be lifestyles, something to maintain and celebrate. Users share tips on how to engage behaviors and provide support for each other’s illnesses. For individuals who are in recovery, websites like this can be seriously detrimental. Some people in recovery refuse to engage in social media at all, citing the prevalence of hashtags like #thighgap and #thinspogram as just a few of many reasons to shelter themselves from the social media revolution. USA Today (www.usatoday.com) shares the story of Donna, who is in recovery from bulimia. Afraid to expose herself to the kinds of comparisons that fueled her illness, Donna has decided to stay away from popular social media sites like Facebook and Instagram.
     
    While it’s clear that social media and pro-eating disorder websites have played a part in our global obsession with obtaining perfection, more and more websites  dedicated to positive body image and recovery are beginning to pop up. Someone searching for eating disorder tips may stumble upon a recovery website or blog and be drawn into a story of hope….leading to the inspiration to begin recovery. The National Eating Disorders Association (www.nationaleatingdisorders.org) shares the story of one woman who came across the NEDA website in her search for a pro-eating disorder community….a lucky accident that turned out to be the catalyst for her recovery. Nonprofit organizations dedicated to awareness and advocacy use the power of the internet to spread positive body image messages. Eating disorder treatment centers are also getting involved in the awareness movement, offering blogs, webinars, and professional events designed to educate and inspire.
     
    Instagram is also proving to be a powerful recovery tool. An online photo-sharing service, Instagram users can visually communicate their lives to their followers. Some individuals in recovery have turned their Instagram accounts into recovery accounts. The Atlantic (www.theatlantic.com) describes this type of account as a place where users can gain support while maintaining as much anonymity as they would like. Some people don’t use their real names, and others find that it’s easier to open up and share initially in an online environment. Recovery accounts document the progress users are making through pictures of meals, inspirational messages, and even pictures of users’ bodies as they work toward weight restoration. Support from followers during the recovery journey can be motivating and provide comfort during difficult periods.
     
    Although social media can be a positive recovery tool, users must be vigilant and pay attention to their triggers. Any concerning thoughts and behaviors should be taken seriously and addressed with a treatment team.
     
     
    Totally In Control: The Rise of Pro-Ana/Pro-Mia Websites. Social Issues Research Centre, www.sirc.org
     
    Rojas, M. (2014). Social Media Helps Fuel Some Eating Disorders. USA Today, www.usatoday.com
     
    Kay, J. (2014). How Social Media Led Me to Recovery. National Eating Disorders Association, www.nationaleatingdisorders.org
     
    Mirhashem, M. (2015). Overcoming an Eating Disorder with Instagram. The Atlantic, www.theatlantic.com
     

     

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